#365DaysOfHabits Day 1; The Art Of Negativity (7 January 2015)

The reader and the writer are two very different individuals, yet so codependent. As a young boy my mother attempted the mere impossible — to get a child growing up in the age of Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon, to sit down and actually read a book. Why? I was a performer from the word go, always wanting to be in front of people and put on a show. When we are that age, we don’t care what people think, we simply observe life as an adventure and it is only much later that we realise exactly what it is we are doing. Story telling was a way of expressing myself, and more so than non, I filled my days with acts of creating characters in my head who I would set free on a desk, buffering as a stage, or a puppet, playing out the escapades. Reading, however, that was a horse of a different colour. At the age of fourteen I introduced myself to the world of writing, it was a way for me to put my stories to paper — writing movies, I called it. A visual being, ever since Bambi —

You cannot be a writer of you do not read, they said. Time and time again I would hear the words coming from my dear mother’s mouth, or from the well known writer who captured his worldly travels in a humorous way with puns and quirky expressions. The truth of the matter is while I didn’t necessarily disagree with them, it wasn’t their lecturing that went to my head — instead, it was the negativity, or at least what I derived from their teaching as negativity. This topic of negativity has been accumulating dust in my mind as it has been squatting there like an unwelcome guest for quite some time. Why is it that negativity is a feeling we gravitate towards so easily and why does it effect us so much, and so easily? I don’t have time for it, nor do I care for it. If negativity is the result of bad things done or said then I am forced to direct my attention to those around me, no?

As an individual I have learned not to care too much what people think or say about me. As a youngster I was bullied, and no matter which way you argue it or how you explain it, it made me a stronger human being. Shedding off the names and the accusations became second nature. My description won’t state that I am Mr Positivity, or Mr Brightside (for the Victims out there), but I like to think that I am a glass-half-full kind of guy. We all, inevitably, experience negative feelings, it is apart of life, and quite frankly I don’t trust people who is always smiling and going on without a care in the world. I’m not so much referring to the emotion state we take a dip in every now and again, but instead the aura we projectile onto those around us, or then what is projected onto us. It is common curtesy, I get it Emily Post, but asking someone how they are doing deems to be an act of routine instead of pure intent. How often do we pose the question and are we genuinely interested in the answer. We care, that’s why we ask, but life would seamlessly go on either way. I say this because nine out of ten times I am asked this question it results in me asking myself that very same question and for a brief gap in time I am completely open and venerable to all of a sudden experience an emotion completely different from what I was half a second earlier.

When I greet someone or is brought into the presence of my fellow man, their energy will affect me. I’m not a very strong believer in this type of thing — auras’ and energy, but I’m beginning to reassess it more and more. If I am perfectly happy and content with my current state of being, and you project your negativity onto me, you start brining me down to where you are. We can’t be happy or in a good mood all the time — like I said, this is not so much about the emotional aspect of being in a good or bad mood, we are human and thus we will not always be doing well. Not true? Forcing your negativity down onto me, intentional or not, is not alright with me. Excuses such as being tired or being overly busy is not valid, I’m sorry. The common decency to acknowledge me and greet me in a respectful manner doesn’t require too much effort. Now you are probably saying: so what you are saying is that I have to put up a pretence and fake it? No, not at all, but why attack me when I am walking through the door as a complete outsider to the subject of what upset you in the first place? This results in my spirit being brought down and pondering on the question of whether I did something to make you feel depressed/angry/negative/ the list goes on and on. If that is the case then please by all means inform me so that we can talk about it.

The other side of negativity is that which is brought on and disguised as honesty and being realistic. Here is a very fine line — and I say this because I tend to fall under the category of telling you the truth and being the realistic one in the conversation. I am a dreamer, a big one, and I believe that anything is possible — we should go out and do anything we set our minds to. Writing it down on paper makes it seem so much easier than it is, doesn’t it? That’s the point: reaching your dreams is never easy — nothing worth getting is ever easy, nor is it meant to be. We need to fight for what we want. There is a very big difference to being realistic and giving advice, as apposed to bringing down and influencing a person negatively. Life is hard, fact, the struggle is real, fact — but life is also an amazing, adventurous journey that is simply too short to constantly be unhappy and negative. If you are trapped in being an unhappy person, then perhaps it just be time to make a change. Change is as good as a holiday, so they say. Sometimes the only thing needed is to get out of our comfort zones. Yes — anything is possible and the way we get there will differ from person to person (don’t assume to tell me what I can and cannot do — and how I can or cannot do it!), live in a positive spirit, but be able to take on criticism. If you are the one giving the criticism, make it uplifting, don’t do it in a negative manner, because you will more likely than none bring down a person and usually you won’t even realise it. Don’t disguise the monkey hiding up your sleeve, say your say — honesty is key, but your approach is vital!