#365DaysOfHabits Day 14; This is m-e-e-t-i-n-g people! (20 January 2015)

Here’s the problem I have with dating. It isn’t natural, at least I don’t think so. You see, we are meant to meet people, but this of course is not normal run of the mill meeting people, this is m-e-e-t-i-n-g people, as in there’s the possibility of you and I ending you getting married and having babies. It is that sort of meeting people. My question is — why do we put ourselves through this? Is it because we are looking? Looking for that soulmate, looking for a fun time, looking for sex? The relative answer that comes to my mind is that there is no answer, or rather, that there will be some equation involving x’s and y’s. We all want different things, we all expect different outcomes, and we all envision our lives differently. There are no set way of going about it. It is painful, and torture, to go through all of this dating drama. We stress, we wonder, we obsess and we over think it completely, but now tell me — what is the deal with people? I have never been a big fan, to be honest — of people that is. We are a strange species. There are several quotes and stories I can write about, but the point is that we are a bit of a mess, especially when it comes to dating. If there are no rules to dating, and I say this because of the fact that it is so different from one person to the next, then how do we know what to do and what not to do. Sure, I have no doubt that Glamour and Cosmo has published fifty dozen articles about the do’s and don’t’s of dating — yet that means absolutely diddly squat to me when I am actually in the situation and have to manoeuvre my way around, trying to sound right, act right and make sure that the impression I leave is good enough to not send the other person home before the thing has even started — and by thing I mean date.

I have never been a very big believer in dating, and I will tell you why. See, while I have nothing against the principal of dating, I do think that it is a waste of time to some extent. It could however be a good thing — we meet new people, people who will play absolutely no significant part in our lives if the date goes badly, and if it goes well then well, you will have found someone to potentially call your girlfriend/boyfriend and get to know. So don’t tell me it is just to meet new people, no matter the outcome, it isn’t, that’s not the point of dating. We don’t go out on dates and if they turn out horribly wrong we say, oh well, too bad, let’s be friends. No! It can be a good thing, because we begin to discover what it is we want, what it is we like, because, believe it or not — most of us have no idea what it is we want — same can be said when it comes to ordering at a restaurant, same can be said about a girlfriend/boyfriend. More then anything, I truly believe that dating only breaks us down — most of the time at least. Do we learn from bad dates? What’s the point — what you did wrong in one date (something which most of the time you aren’t even aware that you did) you might be doing right in another. If don’t date types of people, we date people — individual human beings. You can’t say: okay, so, I dated a surfer or a banker, or a sportsman or an actor, and after I have come to the conclusion that I don’t like set type of person and so I shall try the next. No, we meet an individual who has their own personality and interest, and it may or may not work. You might date a lawyer and it goes sour in ten minutes flat, and then you can date a lawyer again and you end up getting married.

Have we come to an era where sex is the only commodity worth trading? Honestly — can’t two people go out, on what is supposedly a date, and just have a good time. Now there’s such a huge expectation and someone’s mind is made up in the first couple of minutes based on looks and first impressions — not whether they want t o get to know you or spend some time with you, nope, rather whether you are worthy to have sex with. Is that why people go on dates, or do they genuinely want to meet someone that they could potentially date for the long run? Am I the last romantic left on this planet who believes in meeting some without going on some horrid blind date, or someone you barely know, having met them through a friends or online? I always said that I would love to just meet my soulmate by bumping into them completely randomly in the supermarket! Not exactly, but you get what I’m trying to say? I want there to be a story, I want there to be something more to tell the children than — we met online. You know? I’m not saying it’s not possible, it is, completely — I have heard great success stories.

Do we have to date? Remember — I am not talking about dating as in, for our first date we….no, I’m referring to dating as in essentially meeting the other person for the first time on this date. Everybody have their own love story, and that is great, it makes life interesting. Like Ed sings: “And I’m thinking ‘bout how, people fall in love in mysterious ways, maybe just the touch of a hand…” Well, to be honest, after listening to that song I pretty much don’t give a damn, I just drift away. I love success stories — and the only thing I like more than a good love story that worked out perfectly, is a horrible date story…yeah, those are actually worth collecting to tell the children!

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